In which Patch comments about the Modest Mouse show

The Modest Mouse concert was phenomenal. Well, the music was anyway. The venue left a little to be desired. It was a highschool gym in a really rough area of Louisville. While it was cool seeing Modest Mouse in a highschool gym, it would have been a lot nicer in a highschool gym that had a working air conditioner. I’ve never been so hot in my life. Not even that time I went to Hell to ask them to turn the music down a little.

Like I said, though, musically it was fantastic. One of the better concerts I’ve seen. My favorit Modest Mouse song is Bukowski, so I was glad they chose to play it. I also really enjoyed Black Cadillacs and Cities Made of Ashes. Cities Made of Ashes was Dirty’s favorite. The bass line was nice and kinda westerny. It made me wanna call people “pardner.”

Camper Van Beethoven opened. I liked them. P.Dirty thought they sucked. Watching them in a gym, he compared it to a bad high school talent show. I was offended by his comments so I took off my white gloves, slapped him in the face with them, and challenged him to a duel. He pretended not to hear me.

We saw our friend Sara there. She kept trying to get everyone to touch her legs to see how sweaty they were. Dirty declined on the grounds that his hands were already sweaty so it wouldn’t really prove anything. I pretended not to hear her. Sara is kinda creepy. Thank God she’ll never read this and find out how I really feel.

On the way home, Dirty and I bonded over bad music. We listened to Journey, The Toadies, and The Darkness. We also decided that the next time either one of us says something stupid in front of people, we’re going to follow it up by screaming, “The Holocaust never happened!” That way the shocking and racist undertones of the exclamation will distract people from our stupidity. It’s a can’t miss plan.