Batman Begins - a thoughtful review
Because I read comic books, whenever a new super hero movie comes out, my friends expect me to go see it opening night. But I’m sorry, I’m not some nerd who goes running out to the theaters to see a movie the day it opens. I’m an entirely different kind of nerd. Ever since Batman Begins opened all of my friends have been coming to me telling me how good it is and how I should see it as soon as possible. Strangely, it was mostly girls telling me this. Girls! Girls don’t know anything about Batman. So when they told me how good it was, all I really heard was, “Blah, blah, blah, Christian Bale is so cute. Blah, blah, blah, stare at my chest.”
I finally saw Batman Begins, though, and wow! Now that was a super hero movie! It was like the Citizen Kane of super hero movies. Well, if Citizen Kane was all about Rosebud killing Kane’s parents and inspiring him to go get trained by ninjas and then spend his life fighting other snow sleds.
A few minutes into the movie I was a little worried. Mostly due to the amount of eyeliner the actor playing a young Bruce Wayne was wearing. I thought maybe Joel Schumacher was directing Batman again. If you don’t remember Joel Schumacher was the flamboyant “genius” who gave us a Bat suit with nipples on it and multiple butt shots. Any fears I had quickly evaporated, though, when young children started getting attacked by bats and ninjas started kicking people’s butts — two things essential to any good movie.
I’m a Batman fan from way back. As near as I can remember, my first comic book featured Batman. I love him the way only a thirty year old nerd can. But I love him in comic books. Super heroes work in comic books. Sometimes they don’t work on the big screen. For instance, in a comic book it’s possible to make a man in a cape, boots, and briefs outside of his pants look relatively cool. On a movie screen the same man just looks like a pervert. So I don’t usually go into these kinds of movies with very high expectations. The most I usually hope for is a few good action sequences. I rarely expect a respectful portrayal of super heroes, and never expect a good film in and of itself. Imagine my surprise that Batman Begins actually gave me both!
I should have known going in that Batman Begins had the potential to beat the odds. For one thing the director’s chair was being helmed by Christopher Nolan, the man who brought us the remarkable film Memento a few years ago. The other thing it had going for it was the casting of the relatively unknown, but physically appropriate Christian Bale as Batman - as opposed to the less inspired casting of the previous films, namely the chinless and squishy Michael Keaton, the perpetually stoned-looking and toothy Val Kilmer, and my evil twin George Clooney.
I also really liked the movie’s choice of villains. As a comic book fan I was familiar with Ra’s Al Ghul and the Scarecrow. If you had told me early on, however, that you planned to make a compelling origin story for Batman using these two characters instead of the much more well known Joker, I probably would have laughed at you. Then you would have asked what I was laughing at, I would have explained it, you would have called me a nerd, and I would have gone home and muttered at you under my breath while drinking from a Burger King Star Wars collector’s glass.
Of course Christopher Nolan is much smarter than me. By not starting with the Joker he left himself something to build towards. Perhaps he learned from Tim Burton’s mistakes in directing the first installment of modern Batman movies. By starting with the Joker (played by Jack Nicholson, no less) Burton created a situation where any villain who came after seemed kind of like a dull also-ran in comparison. He peaked too soon. Instead, Nolan teases us with the Joker at the end of his film, hinting at what’s to come. Especially chilling was Batman’s reaction. He’s blase, almost apathetic at the mention of some overly theatrical villain leaving Joker cards at the scenes of his crimes. Unlike the audience, he’s not privy to the fact that he’s witnessing the creation of what will one day be his greatest enemy.
Batman Begins even managed to avoid some of the pitfalls that other super hero movies tend to fall into. For instance, one of my big problems with the Spider-Man movie a couple of years ago was the idea that Toby Maguire, playing a poor high school student, could develop a costume that in reality required Hollywood designers and thousands of dollars. Batman Begins didn’t ask us to swallow anything quite that unbelievable. On the contrary, they showed us just how realistically a presumed dead billionaire can walk into the basement of this late father’s company and find millions of dollars in one of a kind prototype weapons that nobody knows about except for a kindly old man who doesn’t mind lending them out on the weekends. Hmmm. On second thought, ignore this paragraph.
My absolute favorite part of the film was seeing Katie Holmes hallucinating and teetering on the brink of insanity after being abducted and drugged by a small, nefarious, somewhat effeminate man. Strangely enough that’s also been my favorite part of Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood for the past month or so. Ha! I really wish there was some way to represent a rim shot on the printed page.
There was really only one thing that bothered me about Batman Begins. I find it incomprehensible that after over a decade of Batman films, Hollywood still can’t design a costume that allows Batman to turn his freaking head. I mean, come on! We’re supposed to believe that Batman can get his hands on utillity belts full of gadgets and capes that allow him to glide on air currents, but he can’t master something as simple as the cotton turtleneck? Batman is supposed to be intimidating. What’s scary about a guy in a cape and a neckbrace?
So there you have it. My thoughts and feelings on Batman Begins. Does this count as a movie review? I feel so Ebert right now. Or is it Siskel? Which one is still alive? Anyway, if you haven’t seen Batman Begins yet, go see it, even if you’re not a big fan of super hero movies. This one boast a talented director, interesting settings, and a pretty smart script. Also like I mentioned above there are ninjas kicking people’s butts. Later in the year when it wins an Oscar for best ninja-butt-kicking scene and Christian Bale makes a tearful speech in which he thanks all the little people that got kicked, you’ll be able to say you saw it coming. And you’ll have me to thank.
