Give Ashlee Simpson A Break

Okay, so I have mixed emotions about Ashlee Simpson. On the one hand I find her music terrible and the few times I caught her reality show on MTV I found her, personally, to be spoiled and annoying. However, I actually find her dye job and faux punk style a little more attractive than the ditzy, blonde sex-kitten persona of her sister Jessica. What I don’t understand is her being booed off stage during a half time performance at the Orange Bowl. Yeah, I saw her lip-synching screw-up on Saturday Night Live. And, yes, I saw her pitiful attempts to blame the whole thing on her band. But where does all this righteous indignation on the part of the American viewing public come from? If you were really offended by Ashlee’s appearance than I can only assume that you were living under the mistaken assumption that most of the bubblegum pop performances you see on television are actually live. Here’s a helpful rule of thumb — if the song sounds exactly, note for note like the album version — then it’s most likely a recording that the performer is lip-synching to. Live music features missed notes, variations, and occasionally out of breath performers. Personally, I refuse to believe that most Americans are really that naive. I think they just wish they were. I think the Ashlee Simpson thing was a whole lot of people trying really hard to hold on to their innocence. I don’t think she got booed for misrepresenting her talent months before. I think she got booed for making it harder for everyone to lie to themselves.
Yeah, that’s a lot to put on Ashlee Simpson doing something stupid on Saturday Night Live. But stick with me for a minute.

Despite how savvy and jaded we like to pretend we are as a society, I think, deep down, we all long for innocence and simplicity. Take the recent election. For the last several decades nearly every president we’ve had has been accused or found guilty of some sort of questionable behavior: dalliances with Hollywood starlets, Mafia ties, masterminding break-ins, illegal arms trading, adultery, and cover-ups. Yet, somehow, every election year when the partisan mud starts flying, everyone stands firmly behind their respective candidate, shocked that someone might even suggest the existence of impropriety. I know I’m a little cynical when it comes to this sort of thing, but I just can’t imagine that someone makes it all the way to the Presidential level of politics without a little moral compromise along the way. Somehow, though, no matter how many times we get collectively stung as a nation, we seem to want to believe in the people we vote for. If there’s something going on behind the curtain we don’t want to know about it.
Humans are strange creatures because we tend to mock naivety and innocence in others but long for it in ourselves. We laugh knowingly and wink at each other when our children believe in Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy - but most of us would secretly love for there to be some supernatural entity in our lives that rewards us for good behavior and proper dental hygiene. Ultimately, though, we don’t allow ourselves to believe in that sort of thing. As individuals, we shed such beliefs as we enter adulthood. Collectively, we lost that kind of innocence a long time ago.

I have a friend who loves the show American Dreams. She watches it with her family every week. During one particular episode that featured an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, my friend’s mother pointed out that the 60s, the era in which the show takes place, was really the point in our country’s history that morals really began to degrade. I understand what she means. There was definitely a change in our country’s sexual morals and attitudes towards drugs at that point in time. But even a cursory glance back at American history will reveal a country that at different times prior to the 60’s condoned religious persecution, slavery, and the suppression of women’s rights. Not exactly activities that speak well for our ancestor’s moral fiber. So, why do so many people, like my friend’s mother, see the sixties as the decade where we really started going downhill? I’m sure there are lots of really well thought out theories on this subject that have been carefully and painstakingly crafted by extremely educated social scientist. I’m going to pretend those don’t exist for right now and throw out my own, uninformed, uneducated opinion in their place. I think we point to the 60’s because it wasn’t that long ago. They’re still in sight, so to speak.

What do I mean? Let me put it another way. The last two years of my marriage prior to my divorce weren’t so good. Things were tense and uneasy. There was arguing and there were trust issues. When I think of my marriage now, I don’t dwell on those last two years. I think about the six years prior to them. It’s comforting to remember a time when things were good and everything worked. Likewise, I think as a society we like to think that moral decline and loss of innocence are fairly recent occurrences. Not too long ago, things were better. People weren’t so hard and jaded. Kids didn’t have to deal with things like drugs, sex, and violence. Celebrities were famous for the right reasons. Marriages lasted. There was no terrorism. Life was good. And maybe, just maybe, since it wasn’t all that long ago anyway — we could get back there.

I think this need as a society to reclaim our innocence is really just a larger reflection of what’s going on inside of most of us as individuals. When we bemoan how far the world has fallen, I imagine in most cases, we’re secretly talking about ourselves. We all remember a time before our first heartbreak, before the death of a loved one, before we hurt someone, before a divorce, when life seemed simple and we didn’t think about things like guilt, and loss, and pain. However, just like the 60’s weren’t really the beginning of America’s downward spiral — we tend to give certain moments in our lives more power than they deserve. One action doesn’t make you a bad person. One decision doesn’t make you uncaring. And one hard discovery doesn’t rob you of your innocence. All those things just make you human.

I’m not trying to justify bad behavior. I’m not excusing treating people badly or acting selfishly. I’m simply saying that mistakes, bad decisions, hurt, and pain are all part and parcel to being human. Longing for a time when they didn’t exist is natural, but it’s not really useful. What is useful, is taking all that negative stuff and learning from it. Finding out what insight it holds and using it to help others. I have this friend. He’s done some really bad things in his life. Illegal things. Immoral things. But he’s real honest them. He’ll usually tell just about anyone that ask. Does he ever wish that he could go back to a time before his mistakes? I don’t know. I’ve never asked. What I do know, though, is that he’s learned the lessons of his past and he tries to use those lessons to help other people, literally, every day. He’s the person I wouldn’t hesitate to go to if I was feeling guilty about something. Because of everything he’s been through, he doesn’t judge. He doesn’t look at people and see their lost innocence. He just sees people. How much better off would we be if we could all do that? How much better would life be if we didn’t dwell on each other’s mistakes? Or more importantly, our own?

So, to close, everybody lay off of Ashlee Simpson. As I pointed out above, you’re only mad at her because she reminds you of what you think you’ve lost. And how fair is that to poor Ashlee? I think we all owe her an apology. As a matter of fact, I think we should all run out right now and buy her album to make it up to her.
Okay, just kidding. If you could see me right now, I totally couldn’t keep a straight face when I typed that. Sorry.