dior
So, I’m in this bar last tuesday. I go there every tuesday with a friend of mine named Bryan to meet Freakdaddy, hang out, and have a few beers. Freakdaddy doesn’t have the beers because he’s working. He does a remote from the bar every Tuesday and host their weekly comedy show.
Last tuesday we’re sitting there - eating some dinner, drinking a little, and listening as Freakdaddy regails us with a story about seeing an old man make love to himself beside the escalator in the Richmond mall - when our waitress approaches us. I think her name is Misty. She’s an attractive girl. Very… buxom. Yes. That’s the word. Buxom. She tells us she wants to show us something - and then proceeds to raise her shirt.
For a split second my eyes glazed over and I could feel my heart beating in my ears. What majesty were we about to behold? Who in the world gets flashed randomly by hot waitresses? Had we done something to earn the favor some some strange, ancient god of bar room nudity? So many questions. And they all came screeching to a halt when, underneath the waitresses shirt, there was revealed to be… another shirt. A shirt the waitress had made. It featured iron-on-letters that read, “I’ll fuck for Gucci, but I’m a whore for Dior.”
Classy.
She told us that she had made it as the punchline to some joke between her and her friends. We all smiled and nodded politely as she explained the joke. We were all feeling a lot of things. Pity. Confusion. Disapointment. Disapointment not so much at not getting to see boobs - We’ve all seen boobs before - but disapointment that we weren’t the guys we thought we were for the split second between her beginning to pull up her shirt and the second shirt being revealed. The guys who get flashed randomly by hot girls in bars.
It’s hard the first time you realize you didn’t grow up to be the cool guy in the 80’s frat movie. Or Magnum PI.
At any rate, we all enjoyed the subtle irony of a girl who irons curse words on her shirts being a big fan of Dior, filed it away as a good story, and left it at that.
