30

Two days ago I turned 30. I’m not the kind to get hung up on age- I don’t feel any older, and Im in good physical shape. But this birthday was a rough one. No doubt due to the fact that less than a week prior, Susi moved to LA - adding physical seperation to the legal one.

Thirty is kind of a landmark of sorts, I suppose. No longer in your twenties. No longer a kid. So it hurt that she wasn’t with me.

Other than that, the birthday was great. Spent the day with my parents, my brother, his wife, and their two boys. I don’t really want kids of my own, I don’t think. It scares me to think about having them. The way I feel about my brother’ boys - the intensity of the emotions - the way it almost hurts you to look at them. I don’t think I could handle something like that intensified by the fact that the kids were mine.

Later that night, I had a small party at a local restaraunt/bar with a bunch of my guy friends. I haven’t hung out with a group of guys in a long time. It was great - food, cigars, beers, a couple of good bands. How can I do that sort of thing every week without interrupting the flow of everyone’s lives?